I don't know what to do.
I think I want to change things, but I'm pretty sure within a month I'll want to change them again, so here's my dilemma: Do I change them now and hope that it doesn't take me to long to find something that fits, or do I wait until I know what I want and then change it? I'm not sure why I want to change things. Is it because I'm looking for something, and maybe I'll find it by changing things. Is it to be closer to you? Is it genuinly because I've realised this isn't what I want? Is it out of desperation? Is it me running away under the illusion I can change myself by changing what's around me?... I don't know.
I hope I figure it out soon, or maybe you can figure it out for me and just tell me, just like when you're little. When you're little you don't have to think about anything more than what's the next fun thing to do, because your parents hold all the answers right? They know what's right and what you should do and what's best for you. I think I'd like to regress. I don't like making decisions, so I figure not making decisions is the next best thing. What do you think? I don't think it gets me very far. It doesn't make me sad or happy or upset or angry or frustrasted or anything. I just go with whatever is easiest at the time. And this was easiest. And I think I always go with what's easiest, so I'll end up here for the next three years. And maybe I'll regret it. And maybe I wont. And maybe I'll do the if thing and maybe I'll do the fate thing. Or maybe I just wont do anything.
Everyone always seems to be content with what they have. They find there little niche and they're happy in it, everything fits. They never quesiton anything, because they've found it.
Where's my fucking niche?
I think I want to change things, but I'm pretty sure within a month I'll want to change them again, so here's my dilemma: Do I change them now and hope that it doesn't take me to long to find something that fits, or do I wait until I know what I want and then change it? I'm not sure why I want to change things. Is it because I'm looking for something, and maybe I'll find it by changing things. Is it to be closer to you? Is it genuinly because I've realised this isn't what I want? Is it out of desperation? Is it me running away under the illusion I can change myself by changing what's around me?... I don't know.
I hope I figure it out soon, or maybe you can figure it out for me and just tell me, just like when you're little. When you're little you don't have to think about anything more than what's the next fun thing to do, because your parents hold all the answers right? They know what's right and what you should do and what's best for you. I think I'd like to regress. I don't like making decisions, so I figure not making decisions is the next best thing. What do you think? I don't think it gets me very far. It doesn't make me sad or happy or upset or angry or frustrasted or anything. I just go with whatever is easiest at the time. And this was easiest. And I think I always go with what's easiest, so I'll end up here for the next three years. And maybe I'll regret it. And maybe I wont. And maybe I'll do the if thing and maybe I'll do the fate thing. Or maybe I just wont do anything.
Everyone always seems to be content with what they have. They find there little niche and they're happy in it, everything fits. They never quesiton anything, because they've found it.
Where's my fucking niche?
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