Everything Will Be Alright.

I haven't written in a while. It might be lack of internet access or it might be lack of.. Something. I don't know.

Nothing seems that clear at the moment. It's like when you're in the bathroom, you're having a really really hot shower, and you haven't opened the window. All the steam makes it hard to see the light, and I'm pretty sure breathing is starting to feel pretty difficult because it's so humid. You're in the shower, but it's so hot you're sweating, but you don't want to open the window because then the draft will make you cold, but you don't want to turn the heat down either because it's the only thing making you warm right now. You get out, and open the window and turn off the shower, and you realise having a shower seems like it was pretty pointless because you've just make your skin red, and you're too hot, and you don't feel clean right now.

I want something to come along, and make everything okay. Can you do that? What about if I ask nicely? What about if I say please? Do you think I sound desperate? Do you think I'm pathetic? I feel pretty pathetic right now. But I just want things to be clear for a while. Do you think everything will be alright?

I'm going to carry on pretending everything is okay, and that I am enjoying everything right now, but if you see my face falter, if you see my smile drop, if you see me not paying attention, if my hands are holding on a little too tight to my clothes, if I'm staring at something a little too far away, if I don't want to get up tomorrow, if I don't open my curtains, if I don't laugh at jokes straight away, if my voice is a little too quiet, just know I'm trying to keep it together, I swear.