At night I cannot sleep. My breathing sounds long and laboured. Wheeze. I sound like I am close to death. Wheeze. My face is selfishly radiating heat whilst my hands go cold. Wheeze.
When I am ill it reminds me of being a child. When I was ill I used to be able to sleep in my Mothers bed. She had a feather duvet and feather pillows. She slept in a double bed all by herself. I liked the duvet but I did not like the pillows. My face used to get lost in them and I felt like I was suffocating. I always brought my own pillow. When I was about eight I wasn't allowed in Mothers bed anymore. Instead she put pillows under my matress so that I was nearly sitting up - this helped to reduce coughing apparently - and gave me a towel and the washing up bowl. The towel was put on top of my duvet. If I was to be sick I had to be sick into the washing up bowl, if I missed I had to be sick into the towel.
When I was sixteen and my mother wasn't at home and she hadn't been there for quite a few days and I didn't know when she was coming back I was ill. I climbed into her bed, she still had a feather duvet and I still brought my own pillow, and I brought the washing up bowl and towel myself. I needed to cry and to be sick and to cough and to blow my nose and to breath but I didn't know which I was meant to do first so I did them all at once and it didn't work very well and I mostly cried and was sick.
When my Mum called I told her I was brave, and that I stayed in my own bed, and that I didn't cry, and I asked her when she was coming home.
When I am ill it reminds me of being a child. When I was ill I used to be able to sleep in my Mothers bed. She had a feather duvet and feather pillows. She slept in a double bed all by herself. I liked the duvet but I did not like the pillows. My face used to get lost in them and I felt like I was suffocating. I always brought my own pillow. When I was about eight I wasn't allowed in Mothers bed anymore. Instead she put pillows under my matress so that I was nearly sitting up - this helped to reduce coughing apparently - and gave me a towel and the washing up bowl. The towel was put on top of my duvet. If I was to be sick I had to be sick into the washing up bowl, if I missed I had to be sick into the towel.
When I was sixteen and my mother wasn't at home and she hadn't been there for quite a few days and I didn't know when she was coming back I was ill. I climbed into her bed, she still had a feather duvet and I still brought my own pillow, and I brought the washing up bowl and towel myself. I needed to cry and to be sick and to cough and to blow my nose and to breath but I didn't know which I was meant to do first so I did them all at once and it didn't work very well and I mostly cried and was sick.
When my Mum called I told her I was brave, and that I stayed in my own bed, and that I didn't cry, and I asked her when she was coming home.
1 comment:
i really loved this. considering recent events in my life, this is one of the best things i could read. thank you for this.
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